25 August 2001, 01:06am IST
SEEMA BURMAN.
Three words, `i love you', have changed lives miraculously while the three dreaded words `i hate you' have often triggered off violence. `sorry', `please' and `thank you' have worked wonders. some words can give you ulcers, heartburns, or bruised egos. rahim the poet warned us against using rude words. he said, ``be cautious in speaking. when you injure another with your words the bond of friendship breaks forever. even if the relationship is mended there will always remain a knot.'' so, beware of words. ``blind man's son is blind too,'' laughed draupadi, when duryodhana slipped and fell in the palace of the pandavas, mistaking the glass floor for water. draupadi's words of mockery set the stage for battle in the mahabharata .
however, harsh words cannot cause trouble if we refuse to react in a negative fashion. says sant shri aasaramji bapu, ``do not let any one's harsh words govern your moods. why should envy, fear, anger, lust, attachment and greed cause a storm in you? be calm and you will always be happy. only in a happy heart can spirituality unfold itself. to achieve self realisation you must be happy and successful. to be happy is to be successful. lust and anger destroy tranquillity and prompt us to run after illusory objects to gain a temporary feeling of satisfaction and a delusory feeling of fulfilment.
people are the same; they give back what they receive from you. yet, day in and day out people inflict poisonous darts on each other.
sri sri paramhansa yogananda said: ``when you feel tempted to speak harshly, control that impulse and talk calmly instead. let no one hear harsh words from you. be not afraid to speak the truth when you are asked to do so; but do not force your thoughts on others. you may be speaking the truth when you speak of a blind man as a blind man, or of a sick man as a sick man but more politically correct words can be used so that sensibilities are not hurt. some people turn sick with jealousy, others with anger, hatred and passion. they are victims of their emotions. you made your habits; you can change them.''
in the mahabharata, kaikeyi and mantara were apprehensive of sri rama's return to ayodhya after his 14-year-long exile. realising their predicament sri rama paid his respects first to kaikeyi and only then went to meet his own mother. he then spoke kind words and consoled mantara and even asked her to continue living in the palace as before. kabir once proclaimed, ``speak words that can make others forget their miseries. utter words that can soothe others and which will also help you keep your cool.''
the chandogya upanishad classifies the four characters of the ``mind-brahman'' as nose, eyes, ears and speech. these four are instrumental in taking the mind towards brahman . the organ of speech or vag indriya seriously distracts the mind. swami sivananda strongly advised against the misuse of words. observe mauna or a vow of silence at least once a week, he said, as much energy is lost in talking. the energy thus saved becomes transmuted into spiritual energy.
will-power becomes stronger, one becomes less restless, and a certain inner calm is achieved. this is the tapasya of speech. a disturbed mind can never be spiritually inclined. in the beginning various thoughts force one to break the vow of silence. one has to be wary of such distractions. the mind has to be occupied with positive thoughts. restraining ourselves from speaking unnecessarily requires considerable effort. once inner tranquillity is achieved, mauna of the mind will come automatically. the mind becomes ready to meditate on brahman . only he who can fix his mind on god -- even if for two minutes, without distraction - can indulge in self-analysis. books and gurus can only guide you on how to behave. ultimately, it is you who has to conquer your mind.
we have been gifted with the power of reasoning so that we can discriminate and exert self-control on our senses to evolve into better human beings. lord krishna therefore warns us,``likes and dislikes of the senses for their sense-objects is natural. let none allow himself to be swayed by them; they are his two enemies on his way to success.'' krishna has said that these are the two foes, the gross expressions of the subtle vasanas or bondages in us, which can rob the seeker from perfection.
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