Sep 2, 2009, 12.00am IST
R Subramanyam.
To build lasting relationships is not an easy thing to do. Relating to others involves sensitive, complicated, social behaviour. Relationships are fluid. The individual tends to be self-centred, leading us to believe that everything in life is dedicated, and with the assumption that it needs self-gratification every time. We keep looking for comfort zones. This is a grave mistake.
Psychological dependence is a burden, where individuals look for external support. This is dangerous and will take possession of our senses. The ability to function independently and to risk consequences will disappear.
In symbiotic relations, interdependence is inevitable, and any upheaval results in ruptures. This syndrome works superficially to a near clockwork mechanism. It looks to be an ideal state of being, but in reality, it is a pseudo security built on each other’s frailties. These are highly volatile conditions where the mind becomes inconsistent and so can be misled.
An introspection of self and a keener study of the implications with respect to society would enable a clearer understanding.
A selfless mind, with the awareness of other people’s needs and requirements and with an awareness to make others happy, will create a climate of co-option without having to sacrifice one’s desires and aspirations. A strong will and maturity of mind and body can take care of itself, under any circumstance. The ability to decide what went wrong and why it went wrong will show light at the end of the tunnel. Human emotions such as self-pity and self-persecution must not interfere in the process of resolving problems.
Think good for all, do good for all, and thrive in all-round happiness. To live best for yourself, you must live for others, too. To exist in a happy world, you must take care that every living being is taken into confidence. Your friends, neighbours, relatives, all come into the picture. If anyone needs help, do the very best you can, without expecting anything in return. Therein lie profound wisdom and a life of happiness for everyone.
If you do well, the heavens will open up for you, the angels will support you. Your own chemistry will change for the better. Never hurt others by your actions and deeds, the law of nature will turn against you if you do otherwise, it will punish you, unfolding many hardships. You will become a victim for your own mistakes.
We have been given this wonderful planet so that we live in harmony and create meaningful human bondage by loving each other and sharing resources. Most wars and conflicts are the result of selfishness. By being selfless and compassionate, people of the world can come together to face challenges together.
Wherever we go we carry the burden of ego with us. We transact business, interact with fellow human beings, and deal with domestic issues with a complex personality. This dismantles all sensitivity, and lets out a stream of negative energy. We distance ourselves from our true nature.
To have good, healthy human relationships, we need not get too personal and depend on internal security. We can retain relationships without having close attachments, as long as our mind is pure.
There are no short cuts to achieving peace and harmony. A healthy mind is one that is in a state of unbiased, unperturbed calmness, capable of seeing the big picture. The human mind is a divine, sacred experience; we must treasure its potential and explore it for common benefit by living meaningfully.
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